The controller is going to do some goofy things when you pull relays out and try to run it. And ya, the up to speed contact on the starter is almost definitely shorted. Power to it goes through a DLT contact, up to speed picks MUTS which makes MCE go high when the car is not trying to run so it faults and drops the starter. Doesn’t fault when you pull MUTS because MCE stays low but won’t run because MCE doesn’t go high. Verify by reading resistance from 5 to 6 on the starter. You can either replace the starter logic board or open it up and break off the little surface mount capacitor under the SSR that shorts. It doesn’t need to be there.